fibrofacade

*crosses fingers*

I got a call from the county I live in to interview for the county government’s health office for low income children and families as a health assistant.  It’s every benefit I’ve ever wanted and within a few years I’ll be back at the income I’m accustomed to if fibromyalgia doesn’t completely demolish my chances at normalcy.  I hope I get this.  I hope I get the chance to be normal again.  I will drag my ass into that office every single day no matter how terrible I’m feeling.  I will not let fibro destroy this opportunity.

Good morning annnnd good night

Nausea, vomiting and migraines have been dominating my life as of late.  Absolutely killer migraines and killer nausea despite taking Phenergan.  Going to try to go back to sleep now.

Ugh

Stepped on the scale today.  Horrified.  I’ve gained ten pounds.  That means I’m back at 165, the highest weight I’ve ever been.

hello tum tum’s!

I cooked myself some buttermilk pancakes with syrup and coffee for breakfast and to settle my tummy :(

I expect a call from my anesthesiologist today. Definitely need to talk about this IBS intestinal bullshit, the insomnia, not  being able to recall or remember, etc. oh the joys of fibro

IBS is the devil

OMG I have been awake for the last two hours and I’m in so much pain. I woke up because I felt what I thought to be terrible menstrual cramps and took my muscle relaxer, neurontin and pain pill and it was actually IBS so I’ve been running back and forth from the bathroom with nausea and terrible cramping. God this sucks. I would be so screwed if I had a job to go to this morning.

la lohan la lush

lindsay lohan and her mother before kim kardashian’s wedding… i think it is so trashy that she NEVER wears a bra when her boobs sag off of her bone bag she calls a body and i hate that this whole family has the demeanor of a family of rednecks from the backwoods of alabama.  garbage, all garbage.  and heavenly hell… what is with the marilyn monroe blonde hair that isn’t even hers… it looks like she got it from sally’s beauty supply like lil kim…. i’m sure quibids had to pay you enough during your in-home probation product endorsement. *facepalm*

Meh

I just got done writing my anesthesiologist’s a four page letter asking them to take me seriously and reevaluate my treatment plan because nothing over the last year has worked for me in the longterm.  I placed it in the mailbox and closed it and just looked into the distance past the end of my street and sighed because I’ve had it with feeling so helpless and I really don’t hold much hope for this letter.  I just can’t think of what else to do.  I feel like they’re going to come knock on the door with a straitjacket for me once someone reads it but that’s just me being cynical.  I gave them an ultimatum that I would be leaving the practice if we can’t come to a longterm solution that works for me over the next couple of months.  I don’t think I’m asking too much.  The goals of pain management have not been reached in my case and I can’t be beyond medicine’s realm of help.  I know I’m a difficult case but come on…